My Good Sir,

 

Let me open by apologising for the suddenness of my proposal; I realise that a gentleman of such delicate feelings like yourself may not as yet be aligned with my passions. Of these feelings I am completely empathetic. However, and I may swear an oath upon it, the feelings of shock will quickly be overcome by those of excitement and incomparable happiness.

 

I expect that your heart is presently overflowing with the prospect of our love, and I must admit that I myself look forward to your assumption of your rightful place on my arm, for a boy of such a pleasant height and fair countenance like yourself should and can only be matched by a woman of similar if not superior standing, whom I profess to be, and whom I hope, as a most well-liked maiden in the city, am already become.

 

I am sure that you are knowledgeable about a great many things, and when we are united I shall certainly consult you upon every matter that may occupy me in my waking hours, but in this respect, in the field of marriage and society, I believe my unparalleled foresight takes precedence to any other opinion. Let me assure you, then, that there may be no other who can so sufficiently supply your heart with affection and your stomach with satiation as I promise to do, and let me beseech you, if you were so kind as to accept my well-meant advice, to let whatever other idle follies of your childish infatuation wither away.

 

I do hope you will display prudence in your consideration of my offer, and to choose to early enjoy the benefits of my society. Your wit, once initiated, is indeed a most agreeable trait, and must enable you to weigh the advantages of this matrimony, for I daresay you will come to find that my meek character and humble abode could never disappoint you. And you must admit that to become a very respectable Mr. Ribbons will bring out all the exemplary qualities that your maiden name might smother and never bring to light otherwise.

 

I ardently wait for your reply.

 

Yours, Most Always, Truly,

the girl with the ribbons